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My year abroad has involved spending 5 months studying at a university in Chile, and moving to Madrid just 4 days ago to spend a number of months doing an internship for a multinational company. Two very different things in two very different places. But they have two things in common: 1) Both are amazing opportunities to improve my Spanish and learn about the very diverse cultures of these two places and 2) Both are away from home.

Before I went to university I was such a homebody, which is why I think a lot of people were surprised that I was even considering going to England to study. In school I was the shy girl that stayed within her comfort zone at all times pretty much. But when the time came to apply to university, I was ready to break away from that. I wanted to become more confident, to meet new people, to see new things and to experience a different way of life. And I knew the best way of doing so was to step far out of my comfort zone, to pack up my stuff and to leave home.

The first semester was horrendous. I won't lie. I think part of the problem was that I didn't realise how much of a homebody I was until I left. I didn't realise how much I relied on my parents, on my siblings and on my best friends. So it was difficult initially to start relying on myself and I spent the majority of my first semester feeling so homesick that I almost dropped out because I thought I couldn't do it. I think it was the lowest I've ever been in my life. 

However, it didn't take long before I made friends, who quickly became some of my best friends, because the thing is when you are studying away from home (as most people do in England), your friends become your second family. They become the people you see everyday, the people looking out for you and the people you experience so many new things with. And that was where everything started getting better. I had so much fun navigating my new independent life surrounded by these friends, and Bath started to feel like home. It wasn't home home but it was my second home with my second family, and I loved my second semester of first year and all of my second year.

Bath

The time came in second year when we had to start making plans for our year abroad. I'd had it in my head all along that I'd go to Spain for the whole year to work. I didn't want to go further afield because I wanted to still be close enough to Northern Ireland that I could fly back for the weekend every once in a while. Then we were given a talk all about going to Business School as part of the year abroad: the advantages of studying abroad, the different options we had, what the requirements were etc. So, I changed my mind. Right. I was going to split my year and study the first half and work the second half, which hopefully meant I'd be heading into the workplace with more confidence in my Spanish having just finished studying for a semester. But one thing remained constant: I was only going to Spain.

In December 2017, we had to apply for Business School abroad. I filled in my application: wrote a big paragraph about my motivations for studying abroad and what I hoped to get out of the experience, entered all of my personal details and grades from first year and so on. Then came the section where you had to fill in your choices. We had the option of choosing a minimum of 1 and a maximum of 5 universities and initially I had put ICADE in Madrid as my only choice. However, I didn't submit the application right away. Something didn't feel right. It felt like I was throwing away an opportunity to do something completely different, something I wouldn't have the opportunity to do again.

And so, after more research I decided I was going to put down the Pontificia Universidad Católica de Chile as my first choice, 2 universities in Buenos Aires as my second and third, Universidad ORT in Montevideo as my fourth, and ICADE as my fifth. To this day I still don't know what made me change my mind so drastically other than that feeling that came over me. Maybe it was a case of FOMO because I knew other people on my course were going to South America and I didn't want to miss out? Maybe it was a case of curiosity, of wanting to see what I had learnt in my lectures on South America with my own eyes? Maybe it was a case of wanting to go as far out of my comfort zone as possible to see what would happen? Maybe it was a combination of those reasons or maybe it was a different reason altogether? Who knows. All I know is that I am so glad that feeling came over me, because going to South America was hands down the best experience of my life. Not that second-year me knew that yet...

A tiny glimpse of what was just around the corner!

I received confirmation of my place at PUC in January and that's when I realised what was happening and started to panic. I was going to spend 5 months 7000 miles from home and anything remotely familiar! I was going to have to go on a transatlantic flight for the first time and ALONE! I don't know anybody in Chile!... One of my best friends had also gotten a place at the same university which calmed me slightly, but my biggest worry which remained right up until I left was: how am I going to cope without being home for 5 months?

But the 5 months passed far too quickly, as always seems to happen when you are enjoying something. I got the chance to see so many amazing places, do so many cool things and meet so many really interesting people. My dad even managed to come and visit me in October, which was perfect because it was during my halfway point in Chile, right around the time that the novelty of it all was starting to wear off, the workload was starting to increase and just after I had experienced my first bout of homesickness. Seeing dad cured that though, and his parting words with me were to make the most of the time I had left because it was an opportunity I wouldn't have again. Sure, I can go back to Chile but it won't be in the same circumstances: it won't be when I have two days of class a week and loads of free time to travel and explore. And this stuck in my head, which also helped me not feel homesick for the rest of the time I was there. I was determined to make the most of the 2 months I had left.

When the time came to return home, it was bittersweet. I was so looking forward to seeing my family, my friends, my cat and just being back in my familiar places. But I was so sad to say goodbye to the amazing friends I had made and to leave Chile, a country I had come to absolutely love. I was sad to leave my familiar places there: my favourite cafés, parks, heck, even my walk home. I knew I would miss the amazing sunsets that Santiago has and being able to see the snow-capped Andes all the time, no matter where I was in the city.

One of the many many incredible sunsets I saw

When I got home it was full-on Christmas mode as I arrived 3 days before Christmas day. As I had come from the Southern Hemisphere, where it is currently summer, I loved that it felt Christmassy at home. I was so happy to be surrounded by my family and friends again, to be able to drink endless amounts of tea and not having to ration teabags (I only had a limited supply with me in Chile!), to be able to eat so much Cadbury's, potato bread, mince pies... the list goes on! Christmas came and went and I had such a lovely 3 weeks with family and friends. I did experience a bit of reverse culture shock and I had time to reflect a lot on my time in Chile which made me realise a lot of things (I will cover both of these in different posts!)

Then I flew to Madrid on Friday afternoon. I was so excited to experience more new things: another new culture, another new city and also my first proper corporate job. I was supposed to start work tomorrow, but unfortunately administrative complications have meant I won't be starting until next Tuesday, which is fine as it gives me more time to get settled in and to explore the city but the problem is that all of my friends that are working and the people I'm sharing my Airbnb with are busy during the day so I'm spending a lot of time on my own. Thankfully I am the type of person that is content with my own company but I do also like having people to share experiences with so it's not been the best few days, but I know this is just part of the adjustment period and I will get over it soon. 

In this time, though, I have found myself pining a bit for home and for familiarity. However, what I've realised is that when I envisage 'home', it isn't just my house in Northern Ireland with my family, my home friends and my cat. It's also Bath with all of my uni friends, my lovely little house that I lived in in second year (and will be back in in fourth year!) and its pretty buildings. And it's also Santiago de Chile, with its snow-capped mountains, spectacular sunsets and familiar streets.

I had never truly understood the phrase "home is where the heart is" because I thought obviously my heart is wherever my family is? But now I get it. Pieces of your heart can be in multiple places at once. Home doesn't have to be where you were born or grew up, it doesn't even have to be where your family is if you don't want it to be, and it doesn't have to be where you live. Home doesn't even have to be location, it can be a feeling, it can be a person, it can be whatever you want it to be.

I read a quote on a Facebook post yesterday which really resonated with me: 

"You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place." 

Ireland will always be home home to me because of how important my family is to me, but I'm so lucky to have other places in which I have had such amazing experiences with such incredible people that I can call those places home too.

- C x